In a conference room for a demo of a kid’s program, we were asked to turn to the person next to us and give an example of when we were rejected. Unfortunately, the person next to me was someone I admire so much and value his opinion so greatly that I can rarely speak intelligently in his presence. He frightens me. So I babbled something stupid and he told me something awful that happened to him and we moved on.
I realized today that in my paradym the question was null. “Recall a time when my heart pumped?” That is the same question. Jesus was rejected and told us to expect it too. It makes me laugh. No wonder the question was so hard. I had to think about it.
Here’s a few answers:
- When my mom gave me 3rd degree burns over my neck and arm. I almost died. She always told me it was my fault. I was 18 months old.
- One of the many times I was left alone as a child and the water heater exploded on me. I fell asleep waiting for help – blackened, burned and cut.
- The time my friends in high school told me (as a joke) they’d pick me up for a football game on a certain corner. I sat there until midnight rather than go home to be shamed by my mother and made fun of by my family.
- The time my husband tried to sell me as a prostitute.
- The many times that same husband would look at me and then turn away with a look of revulsion. (Even today I have trouble looking in a mirror.)
- The time after we were separated that he raped me.
- When he abandoned us and we had to live in our car.
- The times I was still at school and my family left to go somewhere without leaving a note. I came home to climb through the window. Once there was an earthquake. I gathered their coats and some water by the door while I was waiting. They laughed at me for a long time about that.
- When I had anaphylactic shock at church and the choir director moved my legs out of the way so she could close the door and start rehearsal. She never even asked if something was wrong. Never knew that the paramedics jump started me, gave me 3 shots of adrenaline and were about to give up.
- The times my mom would say “Sue’s the pretty one. But it’s ok – Judy’s smart” in company.
- The one time I had a birthday party and no one came.
So there’s a few times I’ve felt rejected. Sometimes people suck.
But then there are wonderful people too. People who love me so much I can cry just thinking about them. They outnumber the jerks incredibly.
Their acts of acceptance can’t be numbered.
But more importantly there is the God who made me. The one who holds all creation together. Even me. He sent all those wonderful arms to hug me and kind words and deeds to bless me.